It’s been a while since a skit’s been posted.  I wrote this last night – came out of Michele Carlo’s mypod story (Subscribe so that when its posted you can see it!)  about how her real estate agent assumed she wasn’t Puerto Rican and bad mouthed Puerto Rican’s in front of her – she was able to get out of apartment fee when she confronted agent.

 Colorblind World

Characters – Adam – Black Man, Karen – White Woman

Karen leads Adam into apartment.

Karen: And as  you can see the natural light you get in here is just amazing.  You know what I just have to say – It’s so good to see another white face.  You know there have been a lot of Black people moving into the neighborhood recently.

Adam: (confused) huh?

Karen: (continuing) It’s so good to see one of our kind looking at this apartment.  The brokerage keeps sending me black people.  I’ll be honest all these black people moving in have really been making the property values drop.

Adam is really confused but not angry.

Adam: What?

Karen: Yeah! They move in and property value just drops like a rock.  But don’t worry though – enough of us move in and we’ll keep the property values level.  There’s no “Soul” food restaurant in the neighborhood yet.

Karen snickers at her own joke.

Adam: Are you serious?

Karen: Hell yeah! And you know I have to say it doesn’t matter of those people come with “money” or  “education”  – you know what my grandfather said – You  know what you call a black doctor? (pause) A Nigger!

Karen laughs and goes into another room.

CAPTION: Meanwhile somewhere in Harlem.

The same actors that played Adam and Karen have switched roles – now Adam is real estate agent and Karen is prospective buyer.

Adam: And as you can see the natural light you get in here is just amazing.  You know what I just have to say – It’s so good to see a sister moving in.  You know there have been a lot of White people buying up brownstones in the neighborhood.

Karen: (confused) huh?

Adam: (continuing) I get sick of all these white folks the brokerage sends me to look at these places.  These white people buy up the brownstones – destroy the character of the neighborhood.

Karen: What?

Adam: Yeah honey I’m serious.  I’ve seen it happen in other neighborhoods.  Hell white people do it all over the world.  Moving in thinking they can make things better.  Hey, sister – you have to check out the study.  You know Langston Hughes lived here for a short time – I’m glad I can finally tell someone that and have them understand the significance.

Adam laughs and goes into another room. Karen follows

Blackout

Sketch idea: Tinkering with science when nature fails to meet the needs of today’s on-the-go-human. Can we etc…erize this?

*Food: already seen in food industry. re-engineered because of complaints that food makes us fat
*Weather: already seen in some ski resorts. Vail’s method of staying ahead of the crowd in annual snowfall is by “seeding” clouds–flying a plane into a storm and throwing a little scientific mojo to make it snow.

Atlanta (Georgia) Journal-Constitution
January 28th, By Christine Van Dusen
Enter Allerca, a California-based company that is manufacturing the world’s
first hypoallergenic cats.
The kitten will be flown by a special air courier to an Allerca-approved
veterinarian for customer pickup.
The first birth of an Allerca cat is expected in 2006. Eventually, Allercas
will beget Allercas.
The company expects to breed 200,000 annually by 2010 and still fail to meet
demand.
The kittens were initially priced at $3,500 a pop in the United States; now,
because of a massive influx of “reservations” for the pets, they’ll cost $5,000
each.
“People everywhere seem to know Allerca,” said Simon Brodie, chairman and
chief executive officer of the biotechnology company, established in 2004.
“I recently overheard one person tell another how they want an Allerca: not a
pet, not a cat, but an Allerca.”
Some customers may consider this a “luxury purchase,” he said, but the cats
are worth the cost.

Sketch idea: Gollum seeks out work after his star turn in the Lord of the Rings triology. Ends up having to work as a temp in an office.

Coworker: Hey, Gollum, I was wondering if I could have my stapler back.

Gollum: My stapler! It’s my stapler! My precious!

(GOLLUM begins firing staples at Co-worker)
————————————————

You get the idea.

There are two topics which are hungry for satire:

1. The debacle of the Social Security debate. Always comforting to know our leaders pick issues which are immediately pertinent to America. Why tackle spiraling medical costs, the ever-outrageous debt or massive public under-funding when you can cripple America’s elderly today and tomorrow? Tom Tomorrow provided an excellent cartoon on the subject last week and the Onion had a good take with a sports betting article. Let’s take it on. If we don’t, W will think we’re pussies.

2. Armstrong Williams getting paid off for speaking in favor No Child Left Behind. W. proving again that no tactic of a totalitarian regime is too retro!